The words may grace a million t-shirts but there’s far more than sentiment to the invitation to ‘Be Kind’.
It’s been described as an underground movement – a new slant to managing our health, attracting followers from across the globe. It’s a radical concept that demands change in the way we treat one another and lead our schools.
This is not feel-good, fluffy stuff. Its advocates are making significant claims about kindness’s potential to improve everything from teacher performance to student outcomes. A growing number of schools are prioritising kindness as a developmental strategy as well as a value. When we’re kind to people, it creates better relationships, we learn better from each other, we make better decisions, we perform better. And if we treat our community compassionately, we collectively do better too. Kindness is at the heart of an outstanding education; pretty much everything else flows from it.
The ‘business case’ for compassionate leadership is compelling, backed by a growing body of evidence. And it need not take long: a study by John Hopkins University found that giving just 40 seconds of compassionate care – even a simple message such as “We’ll go through this together” – can measurably lower anxiety. There’s another reason why advocating treating others in a way that values and respects them focuses on the positive: the relational has the potential to transform a school’s culture and outlook. The political football that is the British education system has a dominant focus on policy, systems and processes, to the detriment of our students and teachers. The most recent unwelcome introduction of VAT on an independent schooling works against a system that has a strong focus on kindness at its core.
Project Aristotle undertaken by Google was designed to centre on what makes teams successful. At the outset, they thought that the recipe for success would be a combination of high performers, an experienced manager and unlimited free resources. Later, they would find out they were wrong: psychological safety was found to be the most important condition needed. I can think of no better tool in nurturing that condition than a strong focus on kindness. It creates an atmosphere of trust that allows students to be vulnerable and ask for help when difficulties or dilemmas arise. The more we encourage our young learners (and indeed, their teachers) to exchange feelings and ideas, the better the learning experience, the better the sharing of information, the better the decisions and beliefs.
In a high-performing school such as The Abbey, we could easily become absorbed in a culture of personal mastery. However, intrusive thoughts of “I need to achieve, I need to know the answer straight away” are swiftly replaced with an understanding that the answers often come from us collectively, that together we are stronger. This message was shared in our Junior School assemblies this week, where we drew parallels between our community and a flock of geese flying in formation. How the lift created by these magnificent birds enables the whole flock to achieve a much greater flying range than if each bird flew alone. How, when a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying solo. It will quickly move back into the pattern to take the benefit of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it. How when the lead goose tires, it moves down the formation and another goose flies to the front to take its place. And how the geese flying in formation honk to encourage those at the front to keep up their speed.
As school leaders, our behaviours are key to cultivating cultures of decency and kindness. In my own postgraduate study of educational leadership, I vividly remember being asked all those years ago, “What’s your theme tune? What music do people hear when you walk in the room?” Encouraging the release of dopamine, reducing stress, increasing happiness and improving our sleep are all more likely to come from “Here comes the sun” than “Jaws”… A compassionate school is not built on wellbeing rooms, commendations and active-bystander training alone – although all these things matter too – our roles are to champion our values through living them: reaching out, listening deeply, showing we care and being visible.
And this focus within a rising tide of challenge is complemented by our school’s continued commitment to value every individual, in responding to the societal need to put girls first and to engender passion through real-world opportunities which are steeped in joy. At a time of transition and change, we remain determinedly optimistic about the power and potential of kindness. You can teach it, you can learn it, you can practice it: we are all capable of it. Having a bad day may be the context for how we are feeling, but ultimately, kindness is a choice of action we can all choose to take. Try it: hold open the door for somebody, rediscover joy by holding a child’s hand, make eye contact and smile – and feel the magic that happens…
Nisha Kaura, Head of The Abbey Junior School