Shortly after I had the honour of joining The Abbey community, I found myself captivated by a discussion on one of my favourite podcasts exploring the tension between personal aspirations and societal expectations.
Dr Rangan Chatterjee was in conversation with Buddhist monk Haemin Sunim about what he calls the “me of me” versus the “me of others”. Haemin believes that this internal conflict can be the source of much unhappiness and stress.
The concept resonated with me and, as I was walking around the corridors of The Abbey and getting to know the people here, it kept coming back to mind. I had joined a community where the “me of me” was prioritised and not the “me of others”, and it struck me how liberating that truly is.
Research has shown that girls can feel pressure to change their behaviour, or act a certain way, because of gender stereotyping and social influence. I also find eye-opening the statistics around the number of girls studying subjects like computer science, maths and physics at advanced level being significantly higher in all-girls schools, than the figures for girls nationally.
Last term, I had the pleasure of listening to alumna Raffaella Rizzo speak to current students about her journey into studying Cybersecurity. Her love for computer science was developed and nurtured right here at The Abbey. She left school empowered to embrace her identity as a woman in Cyber, a field where women remain significantly underrepresented. In her second year at university, she took on a leadership role as President of CyberWomen, a student-led initiative dedicated to addressing the gender gap in Cybersecurity. Under her leadership, CyberWomen aimed to empower young women and non-binary individuals to explore and excel in the world of Cybersecurity.
Isn’t it empowering to think that we are a community where you are free to explore your dreams and passions without societal gender expectations? To be able to develop the confidence to take on the challenges you choose to, without the shackles of stereotypes making you question your choices?
Head Will le Fleming has said that The Abbey “helps our students face the future on their own terms” and, when you take time to genuinely reflect on that, you can appreciate the immense value it has. Freed from the “me of others”, our students can choose their own terms and explore who they truly want to be.
From the moment I first walked through the doors of The Abbey I could tell that it was special. Now, as I continue to settle, it continues to prove this to me again and again as I am inspired daily by students, colleagues and the wider Abbey family. What a privilege to be welcomed into a community that supports the “me of me” and all of the authentic potential that unlocks for each of us.

Julia Wootton, Head of Engagement and Development